Manhattan Divorce Lawyer Richard Roman Shum Explains the Marriage Separation Process in New York
NEW YORK, NY – September 07, 2026 – Married couples in New York who are considering living apart face a series of emotional, practical, and legal decisions that can affect their children, finances, property, and any future divorce. Manhattan divorce lawyer Richard Roman Shum of the Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, Esq. (https://www.romanshum.com/blog/8-tips-for-a-healthy-marriage-separation-process/) has published guidance outlining eight practical steps for a healthier separation process, addressing communication, boundaries, children’s needs, financial records, property classification, and the importance of legal review before signing an agreement.
According to Manhattan divorce lawyer Richard Roman Shum, separation often brings grief, uncertainty, and relief at the same time, and rushing major decisions can create lasting problems. “Slowing down and understanding what the separation is meant to accomplish can help people avoid choices made only out of fear or frustration,” Shum explains. He notes that some couples separate to explore reconciliation while others view it as a step toward divorce, and either path benefits from a clear plan.
Manhattan divorce lawyer Richard Roman Shum emphasizes that keeping communication civil and setting clear expectations early can reduce conflict, particularly when children, shared bills, or a jointly owned home are involved. He advises spouses to discuss whether the separation is temporary, where each person will live, and how expenses will be handled. When children are involved, their routines and emotional stability should remain near the center of every decision, and keeping them out of adult conflict can ease the transition.
A central point in the guidance concerns what separation does and does not change under New York law. Shum points out that living apart does not automatically divide property or freeze the marital estate. New York courts divide marital property under equitable distribution, meaning the division must be fair based on the circumstances rather than automatically equal. Property acquired during the marriage before a valid separation agreement is executed or a matrimonial action is started is generally considered marital property, even when only one spouse’s name appears on the title.
“An informal separation does not, on its own, protect income, retirement contributions, or business growth,” Shum observes. He recommends that spouses conduct a thorough financial audit before making major changes, gathering complete records of accounts, insurance policies, retirement plans, business interests, and titled assets, and identifying which are jointly held and which are in one spouse’s name.
Attorney Shum explains that marital property can include bank accounts, investment portfolios, business interests, retirement contributions, vehicles, and high-value personal items acquired during the marriage. The timing, source of funds, and any written agreement often matter more than whose name is on the account. Separate property generally includes assets owned before the marriage, inheritances, third-party gifts, and compensation for personal injuries under DRL § 236(B)(1)(d), though such property can become harder to prove when it is mixed with marital funds. Shum advises clients to preserve account statements, gift or estate records, premarriage titles, and settlement documents to support any separate-property claim.
The article also addresses retirement accounts, noting that contributions to a 401(k) and pension benefits accrued during the marriage are generally marital property, and that dividing most employer plans typically requires a Qualified Domestic Relations Order. Shum cautions that automatic orders in a matrimonial action can restrict certain transfers and changes to retirement accounts, health insurance, and life insurance beneficiary designations, so individuals should seek legal guidance before acting.
A written separation agreement is another key focus. Shum explains that such an agreement is a contract that can govern how spouses live apart while remaining legally married, addressing property division, debt responsibility, support, parenting terms, and insurance. Under DRL § 170(6), spouses who live separate and apart under a properly executed written separation agreement for six months or more may use that agreement as a ground for divorce, provided it was signed, acknowledged, filed with the county clerk, and substantially followed. Shum notes that unclear or incomplete terms can create disputes later and that a valid agreement can serve as the framework for an uncontested divorce.
“Before signing a separation agreement, changing accounts, or transferring property, individuals should have the terms reviewed by an attorney,” Shum adds. “Legal guidance is especially important when communication has broken down, when one spouse controls most of the financial records, or when there are concerns about hidden assets or business interests.”
For those beginning the separation process in New York, consulting a knowledgeable family law attorney early may help clarify financial and property issues, preserve records, and avoid agreements that could create difficulties in a future divorce.
About Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, Esq:
The Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, Esq. is a Manhattan-based family law firm assisting clients with divorce, custody, support, prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, and property division. Founded by attorney Richard Roman Shum, who has practiced in New York since 2008, the firm reviews proposed separation agreements, identifies financial and property issues, and helps clients address unclear or incomplete terms before they move forward. The office is located at 20 Clinton St FRNT 5D, New York, NY 10002. For consultations, call (646) 259-3416.
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Phone: (646) 259-3416
Address:20 Clinton St FRNT
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Website: https://www.romanshum.com/
